I dance naked to my favorite music, call socialists pigs and fascists socialists. Then I hit the train directly to Oslo, I always miss Oslo when I look down. But Oslo has become blase, same people, same café, same wine, “I miss Paris” I think as I look up and blurt out “Norwegians have no taste in architecture“, and sit down at Konrads “I know I should treat my body better, Hitch showed me that.“, I light another cigarette and down a pint, the pretty barbies next to me keep laughing about nothing, and drunken startup CEO’s talk technology rubbish they know nothing about. I write philosophical questions on my notepad that I know even less about, the crazy drunken fool writes layers on layers on layers of text to represent the universe. He thinks the a4 paper can be represented as a circle, I dont. Other then that, we are not radically different.
“Can it really be true that we have parallel universes, or are they really sequential. Is it all happening at the same time, or will this universe implode and expand again, and everything will happen later and and has it all happened before.” I take sip of the beer, look around at all the people having a great time talking and thinking about the mundane parts of their life and sexual partners of their common friends. I continue writing. “Or maybe there is an infinite number of big bangs in different places in this universe.” I look down at my iPhone, silicon, almost all secrets and open information collected in the palm of my hand, no one has tried calling, I turn it to flight mode “Will the exact same collection of atoms come together and recreate me, and everyone around me, with slight differences, later, and has it happened before, will I ever know? No, but I can continue to ponder about it.”
When I voice these deep questions about consciousness, the meaning of life or even artificial intelligence, the usual reply I get is “You think too much“, and I default to a lengthy rant about the inherit ignorance of this statement, that thinking and talking is all we have, that watching reality TV gives you nothing, may even be subtracting from their intelligence and that resulting to religion is foolish and mindless. “Sometimes you need a break from life” and I tell you “Life is too precious for that.“.
I go to the locations I’m supposed to shoot a music video next week, I go back to reality and leave my deep thoughts behind, far behind, in my mind, leave them running as I’m walking around. They never stop, I never sleep, they never stop. “This is the jail I’ve chosen to be in, for we may all be in boxes and echo-chambers. But mine is far freer and interesting than the one you only get out of with drugs, or the one you only get out of once you die. Mine is open, and I invite different people in, mine is called reality.” I think as I look at my dear friend, we are walking, and talking about cancer and other scary things, I think I would deal with it better then a lot of other people. If the wrath of the devil pulls me through the concrete floors and drags me down where many believe I belong. Only because I choose reality, but i have faced Lucifer himself.
“Mine is freer because it is not based in reality TV, Twitter and Instagram nor is it the bible, church and faith. I may never know the true answers of the universe, but i will know more then what is thought by only one single book. I will know more about myself then the idea of my soul. I refuse the simple answers, no leaps of faith, only leaps of thought, based in physics and math, not in faith and belief, but facts and others’ deep thoughts.” I end my mental notes on, as I sit down at the cafe we will shoot at in a week and my deep thoughts become a conversation.
The box only becomes a prison when I voice controversial or unpopular opinions, I want to break out of it by trying to learn how to explain them in a less controversial manner.